I'm a single, educated, and attractive mother of a beautiful 8 year old daughter. I’ve had my share of mis-haps in the relationship department. I’ve dealt with the break ups to make ups, long-term relationships, cheating, lying and then some.
For many years – I’ve also wanted to find a SINGLE (NOT MARRIED) black man that was hard working, Christian, dependable, upright and above all things – HONEST.
Honesty is and has been very important to me. Especially when it comes to relationships. I’ve always wanted a guy to just tell me the truth. You know?
Well – what I’m going thru right now gives a true meaning to the old phrase:
Be careful what you wish or ask for…
I’m dating a SINGLE 29 year old father of 1 of one. We hit it off the first time we laid eyes on each other. We are and have been inseparable since then. We talk on the phone morn, noon, night. We make each other laugh; we’ve even supported each other thru hard times in this short dating period.
But most importantly, he seemingly has all of the qualities that I’d like to have in a mate – God fearing, Smart, honest, sensitive, funny, driven, successful business owner, hard working, great father, not to mention – he’s got a great body and is sexy as hell.
But there is one thing – He’s too honest. (Crazy right?)
The first night we talked on the phone – he told me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship (neither am I? – Right? lol) and that he enjoyed being single and doing his thing.
So a couple of days later - I him asked what he meant by doing his thing – he said, “Dating whom ever I want when I want. Just being free. I know I’m not ready to be committed to one person. I’m just not ready”
So me, being the inquisitive person that I am asked, “So who are you seeing?” He responded, “Well, I still kick it with my baby mother sometimes and I have other friends that I see too”
I asked, “Are you hitting baby mother too?”
He answers, “Yes, here and there”
So I ask, being nosey “when was the last time you hit?”
Dude is like, “last Tuesday”
So of course – I’m totally blown right? LOL
Cause I don’t’ want to “knowingly” go behind anybody you know? And most importantly – I’m very competitive; I surely don’t want to be number 2 or some wack shi…like that. I want to know that I have a fair chance to lock that thang down – you feel me? Lol
But seriously – after finding that stuff out, I just can’t bring myself to move forward or get closer to him because I know he’s seeing other people. And it’s taking its toll – he knows I’m pulling away from him…and he doesn’t like it.
But I’m thinking – we as women deal with this every day. WE SHARE OUR MEN - There are thousands of guys out here that we’re dating openly and exclusively and they aren’t telling us a damn thing about what they are really doing. But your boy is being honest….you know?
I really like dude. I wanna get to know him better and he wants the same….and I also wanna give him the work (booty) lol – and I think I caught semi-feelings (well maybe its LUST, I won’t know till after I hit it…) lol
But the point is – I can’t get over the fact that I know he’s out here screwing and seeing other women? He actually told me the truth – and this is what I thought I wanted, but now I’m holding it against him.
I came to him with my concerns and he said to me– “your response is exactly why men will continue to cheat and lie for years. Ya’ll say you want an honest brother, but when we give it to your straight no chaser, you don’t like it. And then you push us away. This is exactly why we lie”
What should I do? Should I call it quits? Or how can I deal with my feelings or change my mind set to move forward with dude???
Ms. "Truth Hurts" - But will it set me Free?