Ok everybody - this one was sent via email - I don't even know what to call this joint...but the responses we've gotten have been hilarious...truly. Post your comments and we'll make sure the person in need sees them...
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For my friend's birthday, I treated him to a pedicure, manicure and lunch. Not including his birthday, thelast 3 times I've seen him, I have paid forlunch/dinner.
The other night, we went to Outback andI had to pay for my own meal as well as the last timeI was at his house. He's acting cheap and that's not good. This is one thing that bothers me about him. BTW: he lives at home, makes as much if not more thanI do and has no dependants.He doesn't want to drive: whenever I come to hishouse, he sometimes asks who is driving. I think thatsince I came to see him (and I pay tolls to do so) he should at least drive esp. considering that chance sare I'll be buying my own meal. I usually let him drive my car but why do I have to burn my gas and he doesn't.
Sometimes I don't mind driving cause his vehicle reminds me of Christine (an old movie about a haunted car), no matter what folk do to it, it keeps right on running. Lastly, he is not a good conversationalist. If I start talking about something that he doesn't understand, he either ignores me or tries to change the subject.
No disrespect what soever (cause I'm not the smarter than a fifth grader myself), but I'm wondering if he was slow in school due to a learning disability. If so, this would explain a lot of things. Occasionally, he'll say I don't follow you. He has not once attempted to find out what I'm looking for in a man, what are my needs, wants or desires are or even better why I haven't committed to a relationship w/him. This is strange but he slept in my bed the other night w/his clothes on and that's fine but I thought atleast he'd try to get a kiss goodnight or a hug. I'm not wondering if he's gay but I am wondering if all his manly facilities are in working order.
He doesn'tappear to have a romantic bone in his body. How boring...What I do like about him? Well, his mom is absolutely wonderful and is as sweet as can be, he is a goodfriend, he's respectful, he's helpful, playful, good company most times, a hard worker, and a good listenermost times.
17 comments:
WOW,,, Miss Lady fired right at homeboys 'flaws' with no warning shots.
TYPICAL (female). But then tried to smooth it out at the very ends with
a few plus(s).TYPICAL (female). Yep, everyone is in search of that
perfect television bamma. Gone are the days of Jessie and Angie (All my
Children). Everybody wants to be Will and Jada ($200m plus) on a Bobby
and Whitney (vinge). Everyone wants there expectations fulfilled, but
never expect to have to fulfill there mates expectations. How about
this,,, how about before you reach out to the community for answers, you
examine yourself and line up your flaws beside your 'dudes' and see if
they subtract each other out.
9 out 10 times they probably will.
What I took from the situation was that, 'dude' is taking what he can
get. From a males point of view....that's an exceptional approach.
Call it: Reperation!! I mean, for so long men (manicure-less males)
have followed those old-fashion ways of: driving, opening doors, closing
doors, picking the dining spot, then treating. Well, it's 2007,,, gone
are them GEICO (caveman) ways. Get that joke, good cause I dont. Every
since 3:00pm - 6:00pm (Michael Basden, his azz) has made it cool and
exceptible for the female species to "DO THEM" and not rely or wait on a
man,,,, it's time for the male-species to concede. With conceding
comes the lack of interest too: DATING, DRIVE, PAY, and IMPRESSING.
Nowadays, If you can get 1 out of the 4, then you got yourself a GUMP,
sista's." Keep hiz azz. It's hard enough to get us to want to leave the
house,,, then you expect us to WANT TO PAY. Shytttttte. Dudes on this
joint know I'm right. All of that dating is to satisfy YOU women. Real
men can careless about wining and dining (sign of the times). Nigs are
moreless on some; "Lets get some curb-side and fall back in the house".
Only these insecure, female-less, use to be band members in high school,
clowns wanna showcase someone nowadays. Call them; POLICEMEN. Yep,
police bammas stay 'wining and dining'. SUCKAS.
But back to the point: I think that dude is just being your typical
male. I mean, if you have a problem with him not wanting to
drive...then dont pose the question. What you do is establish a
routine..."If I push out your house and have to use my EZ pass,,bamma
you driving your shyte." If you push out my way and you make it rain at
the tolls,,I'll drive plus some possible heezy. I mean, you gotta give
a litte to get a little.
Same goes for that bill. Establish something off the break. If YOU say
lets go grab something to eat...then YOU treat. If you are hungry but
short on the cash, then dont suggest the "wine and dine" situation...
make a pitch for some take out or carryout and simply say; "I'm short,
can you cover this." Hey,,, heezy might be required but at least your
check-card isn't. Sista's, you gotta work with us. Again, gone are
your day-time soap opera SHAMAR MOORE (bushy headline) types.....
nowadays it is your more convientenal "RAY J" types. We stickin and
moving, we frolicing and flicking, and if an occasional meal comes
somewhere in between..... we 50/50 on the bill.
So to end this I say,,,,, "THAT BAMMA IS GAY". Either that or an
"IDIOT". Doesn't he know that to continue to get his cuticles removed
and his sorry no good azz fed, he has to SPOON them HINDPOTS from
11:00pm-2:00am,,, then BEAT IT UP for a good strong
15 minutes or 25 pumps (prior to the pee-pee run). Heck,,, maybe if
"SISTA" would have given him some: "welcome to my bedroom, HEEZY," he
would have tried something.
Thats one FLAW right there.
CHURCH!!!
Dear Ms. Lady,
I have to ask -
AFTER reading this - I have to ask? are you even "dating" him? or are you just platonic friends?
I'm really confused by his actions and yours...
Mainly because, At the end of your letter - you posed the question:
"What do I like about him?" and you say the following:
"Well, his mom is absolutley
wonderful and is as sweet as can be, he is a good
friend, he's respectful, he's helpful, playful, good
company most times, a hard worker, and a good listener
most times."
But in the paragraphs above - you've given us every reason to believe otherwise.
If he was so "wonderful and sweet" - why is he lacking in the area of showing you affection? I mean, what guy that's laying next to a woman AIN'T going to at the LEAST COP a FEEL??? or rub on the ONION a little bit???? lol What guy do you know? And if he didn't feel you like that...he would've took his behind home...
I mean come on now, even the nerds COP a feel...LOL - SO that is a sign...I'm not saying dude it GAY because we don't have enough info to make that assumption yet....but its a sign...RED FLAGS to me....
If he's such a "good friend" - why is that you have to always "fit the bill" or pay for your own meals? Just think about it, friendship is about giving and recieving. There has to be a balance. HE cannot always be on the recieving end of things.
I mean, just think about it - He's gotta give too. And if you are a friend and its genuine, he shouldn't have ANY problem with treating ole girl a few times...
And the fact that you always have to drive?? OH NO! I wouldn't care if dude had a hoopty. A man should want to pick his "lady-friend" up every once in a while...I'm old fashion, so I loved being picked up from my door.
But for real - the thing that stood out the most to me is that you said he's not a "good conversationalist" - sister girl, that is key. If a guy is not on your level intellectually, it can be trouble. So, he's obviously not on your level based on what you said....
So with that being said - It sounds like you may have a case of: "He's Just Not Into You..."
Pick up the book girlfriend - it is the truth - http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X
Anyway - don't settle. Even if you do like his Momma. - lol
I mean, you can continue to "date" him if that's what you want. But keep your dollars in your pocket girlfriend...its not worth YOU investing in him if he's not meeting you half way.
Here we go.....Derk...u always gotta be the bamma to start a war.
I mean, what u said was funny but you're not being 100% real, but like u said, guys these days aren't so...what the hell.
U gave the girl some good advice but in the process u made females feel like there aren’t any good dudes left. I know different...but that's me.
I'm sure u have paid for some meals without getting head...giving head does not come "all-inclusive" with the date babe. I mean...even if you're paying don't mean that you're worthy anyway. But that's beside the point.
Saying ALL females pick out dudes flaws...FALSE. We all have them so u r wrong. As if u guys don't pick out our flaws...she don't make that much $$, her azz ain't that phat, her breast are too small, she's too short, she's too tall...she don't look like Halle Berry.
Man, give us a break. U fired the pistol at all of us and every female isn't like that. I would have to type too much to address your response but...it was funny as hell...had alot of truth too it but....u weren't serious were u?
For the record,,, I was serious and I was talkin from my point of view.
Mind you,, the 'heezy' imply was optional.
Look, I'm not a female basher, or think they should go against there morals to satisfy,, I was just giving a little helpful advise.
Myc you got folks thinking that there aren't any good men left.
Now why is the man (myself) I depicted not a good man when I speak the truth.
When I say nigs don't like to wine and dine anymore, I was speaking for THEM nigs who don't.
Unless evey male on this joint is married, you can't tell me it aint one other bamma saying,, he's right, dating nowadays aint like it use to be,, but I will do it.
Or, if she offers the 'heezy' while in the process of spooning,, then I might give her 10 good pumps. Everybody aint as happy go lucku and in love like you JADA.
But if I'm using my EZ pass,, she's using her throat-area. BUT THAT'S JUST ME.
Let's get it!!!!
Girl.......sounds like you might want to start checking out other options. He might be a nice guy.....but someone who is romantic & can pick up the check is nice too.
You might have some more blog posts about this cat......
hilarious!! is there any doubt??? who cares about his mom. that dude needs to kick rocks. he's a "good listener" b/c he never "follows" what you're talking about. AND he's cheap and livin at home? PUHlease.
He is using you. I mean he is getting the good out of the exchange. I hate hearing this saying: "He is doing it because you let him." It was a hard saying for me to digest. The last guy I dealt with, I made up excuses for his behavior and accepted his lame excuses.
Let him go unless you like financing him. He is not going to change because you are supporting and loving him. He is sucking up alll he can get until you stop and he will most likely leave.
He is not slow, he is just not interested in what you are saying. And don't take that has a character flaw on your part. He is not the one for you to be seeing if you are unhappy with the situation.
Umm WOW...I'm not sure what to thikn...as far as him sleeping with you maybe he really doesn't want to go that route...but as far as him not paying maybe he has some bills he is trying to take care of lol who knows....
So what are some of his good qualities??? I'm lost as to why she is still hanging around :-) She is much stronger than I.
Lordy lordy. I agree with Paula D. Time to check out other options. If you like, remain friends, but make it clear that things will be 50/50 from now on...
You've been tagged Princess! (Check out my blog for details)
I initially got on here to give my opinion about this situation on the blog but then I read the comments by Durk. LMAO!!! If that was a joke I would feel good about how funny it is but let me please inform durk as well as you ladies that this doesn't (I repeat DOES NOT) reflect the thinking of all men. In the context of dating toward a relationship, if this is the way you handle yourself you are hustling backwards. You must have very low standards to actually carry yourself this way and still get women. I don't even think I would want to be in a relationship with a woman who would allow me to act that way. To each his own but to me that's just lazy and that's the only reason you want them "Geico ways" to be over. Life and especially relationships are about reciprocity brotha...give and take...reaping what you sow. What you put into a relationship with a woman is what you get back. What woman is gonna treat a man like a King if she know she is getting treated like a chick he can't take in public. No, she wants to be treated like a Queen and only a real MAN is willing to treat his woman that way. Yes it is going out of your way...yes it is doing some things you may not always want to do...yes it does require effort and money...but if you find the right one the return on your investment is well worth it. The Queen that most of us are looking for isn't gonna just come to your mommas house and sit on the coach next to you one day out of the blue...any thing worth having is worth working for. You can call it a "Gump" if you want but most of the many women I know call it a brotha that has his stuff together.
P.S. Even if you aren't looking for a relationship you catch more bees with honey than salt. Get it together playa. You make me wanna step my game up another level just to pick up your slack...LMAO.
Ofcourse he's a good listener, he can't follow what she's saying or at least he's pretending thats his problem... It seems like the dude is just playing a game to get what he wants from her, and because she thinks he isn't very intelligent she isn't going to suspect that he is using her. Instead he has her so confused that she thinks he's actually just slow... lol... he's pretty clever. I just want to know where she met him and what drew her to him in the first place...it obviously wasn't his good conversation skills.
i'm not sure what think of this, maybe i'll think some other time
@durk that's too long comment!
Good words.
Either he's spending his money on his other chick or he's just not that into her.
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