Monday, April 9, 2007

SPRINKLE ME OR NOT?

I am a 30 year old woman who lives in the Maryland area. I have been in a committed relationship with a nice guy for almost a year now. Let me give you some much needed background –

We've dated for a sometime before we became intimate with one another. It just always seemed like he wanted to wait. Which in this day and age, was a good thing.

The first time was ok. I mean it wasn't the best I had...but I made the best of it. We both participated in oral sex BUT, he said that he didn’t really like to do it,…it just wasn’t his jump off.

(I know what you’re thinking: and NO, it wasn’t smelly lol – he just said oral didn’t get him off)

To be honest, he just didn't seem to be into sex that much you know?

We had stopped having sex for a while..I thought it was me at first…but he blamed his job, lack of time, etc.

But he insisted it wasn’t’ me…So since we hadn't been intimate in a while, he decided that we'd go out to dinner and get a nice hotel room (I guess to change the scenery and spice up the bedroom a lil' bit)

That night was really nice; we were all over each other. It was just the type of attention I needed from him. Remember, he didn’t seem to be that much into sex…so this type of action was new but welcomed…So were making love and its great and he says to me?

"I'm ready to bust baby" and I'm like “yes...come on daddy” and he pulls out, stands up over me and lets loose on my breast...

But what I thought to be "nut" landed on my breast...ended up feeling like an abundance of warm water with an awful but familiar odor...

When I came to my senses - I realized that it was Urine. Yes, my man pissed on me. Right on my face and breast...the entire bed was full of urine that had rolled off of my body...

Of course - I almost lost it. I thought I was going to have to be placed in a Sheppard Pratt facility after this one.

He immediately apologized and said that he didn't know he was about to urinate he thought he had to "nut" but urine came out accidentally.

HE begged me not to tell anybody and apologized repeatedly.

I forgave him, but part of me isn't buying this. I thought men knew the difference between "nutting" and "pissing" you know?

My best friend told me that she believes that he has a fetish for "Golden Showers" and just didn't know how to tell me. I think he wasn't sure if I'd be down with that type of fetish.

I think that this explains why he was never into "sex" that much...I'm fully convinced that he waited for the right opportunity to perform this horrible act to see if I'd be ok with it. And when he realized I wouldn't be, he flipped it and said it was an accident.

Is this a case of a man who just didn't know? Or was this a classic R. Kelly move?

Please help - I'm going crazy over here...

Sincerely,
Ms. Golden Showers? Or Climaxx gone wrong